If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so let's talk penis.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
