You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
