New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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