can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
