you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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