My friends, they love my intelligence
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can text with my tongue
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
COCAINE IS GR8
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize