I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
MIDGETS
????
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
