There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
