Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
