I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
