1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Enjoy the penises
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
