it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
ok first of all what the fuck
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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