well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
