): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The uberlube is also flammable
don't judge my taste in strippers
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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