so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
