I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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