I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
