he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
