That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
