new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
