All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
