how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
