Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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