I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
