dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
