Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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