i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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