The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
