Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
