Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
