I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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