I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
