i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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