Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
