there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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