Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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