It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize