It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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