It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize