i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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