People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
