She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
