dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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