Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
