just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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