He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
