does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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