I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize