I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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