I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
