I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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