I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Randomize
