I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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