Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize