mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I bet he comes in French.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
