Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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