kristin has been a bad kristin
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
