have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
