There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
