Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
