do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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