so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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