Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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