piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
