trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
